1. labyrinth's a.k.a. David Bowie's disease
2. deafness in left ear
3. 'morbid' obesity
4. tearing pain in knees
5. asthma
6. 'rapidly diminishing' vision
and now,
7.Alzheimer's
This one had a different flavor than the others. Overly self-deprecating. No bulky graphs of visual description, and again -- no quote lede.
Perhaps she is writing with summer's newfound looseness. It looks great on her.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
A Homage To the One and Only...
I put together all my favorite lines for a column that's almost as cool as the originals:
"I'm lying on my stomach," I suddenly thought. "How peculiar."
Periodically I glanced over to watch my father, his muscles flexing, as he dressed the bit over a forge with sledgehammers before dropping it into the hole to drill. Massive paws told the story of his work ethic.
Maybe I had read too many thrillers, because this place reminded me of a vampire's lair.
I have the same complaint every time I put on a bra or hose, but I do it daily. Seriously, I would be just as happy with a cigar band. It's not that hard when everything is put in the closet accordingly.
But it would be even better if I could find a human muzzle.
One of our staff members recently said that it is hard curl up with a good lap top, and she is right. We might quarrel all day, but in the back of the pickup we were all smiles.
Nothing gives me more joy than that rowdy group of youngsters.
“Well, hell, boy," he said. "Don't you know how to shift?"
It was an impromptu response from a redneck-born, antisocial, non-diplomatic shrew. Since I cannot be tamed, it has become my signature line. A person like that has no idea what it is like to be caged inside your own body, living your own suddenly silent hell.
In fact, nothing in or about my room is sacred from the little "nibby nose." No one could ever convince Heather that she wouldn't look good in a feed sack. Puddin' needs to learn to share, but I think she is coming along nicely.
Most people think black is black. Color my world beautiful, because it is anything but dull.
"I'm lying on my stomach," I suddenly thought. "How peculiar."
Periodically I glanced over to watch my father, his muscles flexing, as he dressed the bit over a forge with sledgehammers before dropping it into the hole to drill. Massive paws told the story of his work ethic.
Maybe I had read too many thrillers, because this place reminded me of a vampire's lair.
I have the same complaint every time I put on a bra or hose, but I do it daily. Seriously, I would be just as happy with a cigar band. It's not that hard when everything is put in the closet accordingly.
But it would be even better if I could find a human muzzle.
One of our staff members recently said that it is hard curl up with a good lap top, and she is right. We might quarrel all day, but in the back of the pickup we were all smiles.
Nothing gives me more joy than that rowdy group of youngsters.
“Well, hell, boy," he said. "Don't you know how to shift?"
It was an impromptu response from a redneck-born, antisocial, non-diplomatic shrew. Since I cannot be tamed, it has become my signature line. A person like that has no idea what it is like to be caged inside your own body, living your own suddenly silent hell.
In fact, nothing in or about my room is sacred from the little "nibby nose." No one could ever convince Heather that she wouldn't look good in a feed sack. Puddin' needs to learn to share, but I think she is coming along nicely.
Most people think black is black. Color my world beautiful, because it is anything but dull.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Shudder
It seems we all fight the battle of the bulge....
Some of us just do it a bit more gracefully than others:
"I push, pull, jump and collapse backward on the bed just to budge the zipper a little. God forbid I have to make a pit stop in the lady's room and take the zipper down after I have finally forced it up."
Some of us just do it a bit more gracefully than others:
"I push, pull, jump and collapse backward on the bed just to budge the zipper a little. God forbid I have to make a pit stop in the lady's room and take the zipper down after I have finally forced it up."
One Way Ticket to Hell and Back
A truly uplifting column this week on learning to cope with being partially deaf.
Our hearts go out to you.
Our hearts go out to you.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
It is the adults who need to learn a few lessons in manners.
a secret message hidden for us?
I hope so.
this week's column ending should probably be added to our profile at the right:
----------------SPOLER ALERT---------------
"A person like that has no idea what it is like to be caged inside your own body, living your own suddenly silent hell."
I hope so.
this week's column ending should probably be added to our profile at the right:
----------------SPOLER ALERT---------------
"A person like that has no idea what it is like to be caged inside your own body, living your own suddenly silent hell."
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