than introducing a new co-worker to the WONDER that is Cat Tales.
Her columns have been much more difficult to find lately, but when you succeed, it's like the winning world's greatest easter egg hunt.
We should create a Beginner's Guide to Wogan.
I think there is a market.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Thursday, December 20, 2007
S.O.S.
It's been months and still there's no sign of our favorite columnist. I don't know where you are or what you're doing, but please come back to us.
It feels as if a little spark inside my soul has been extinguished without my weekly dose of family, humor and quotes.
Has she broken up with us? Is she trying to freeze us out with no communication?
Well I am starving and ready to come in from the cold, baby.
I am considering staging a sit in or some other kind of demonstration until we get our Cat back. Any suggestions?
I hope you're safe, happy and healthy, where ever you are C-Wo. We miss you.
It feels as if a little spark inside my soul has been extinguished without my weekly dose of family, humor and quotes.
Has she broken up with us? Is she trying to freeze us out with no communication?
Well I am starving and ready to come in from the cold, baby.
I am considering staging a sit in or some other kind of demonstration until we get our Cat back. Any suggestions?
I hope you're safe, happy and healthy, where ever you are C-Wo. We miss you.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
MIA
Where has our favorite columnist gone? There has been no column within the last month to brighten our Thursdays and we here at Wogan's Heroes are very worried. It's been to long since we've heard from our dearest for it to be a vacation.
Where could she be? Has she given up the column to take care of the family farm? Has she succumbed to her need for privacy and retired to a cabin in Canada? Is she stuck in a dressing room at JC Penny's?! We don't know and we've even gone so far as to discuss the expenses of a search team, complete with divers and GPS.
We need our dose of Cat Tales and we need it now.
Where could she be? Has she given up the column to take care of the family farm? Has she succumbed to her need for privacy and retired to a cabin in Canada? Is she stuck in a dressing room at JC Penny's?! We don't know and we've even gone so far as to discuss the expenses of a search team, complete with divers and GPS.
We need our dose of Cat Tales and we need it now.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Jewels of the Literary World
How do I pick the best line from this week? I am completely clueless because there are so many.
So I will leave it up to the public:
A.) Like his father, he groaned, but he always showed up with a pickup truck.
B.) It was funny to see a 27-year-old laborer rolling up lacy socks and flattening panties.
C.) "Cool," he said, watching how the underwear disappeared in the folds.
D.) In fact, I am probably the only woman in the world who buys a car based on the size of its trunk.
Please help me, dear readers. For I have lost all sensation in my weekly awe and I cannot choose.
So I will leave it up to the public:
A.) Like his father, he groaned, but he always showed up with a pickup truck.
B.) It was funny to see a 27-year-old laborer rolling up lacy socks and flattening panties.
C.) "Cool," he said, watching how the underwear disappeared in the folds.
D.) In fact, I am probably the only woman in the world who buys a car based on the size of its trunk.
Please help me, dear readers. For I have lost all sensation in my weekly awe and I cannot choose.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
for those keeping track at home:
1. labyrinth's a.k.a. David Bowie's disease
2. deafness in left ear
3. 'morbid' obesity
4. tearing pain in knees
5. asthma
6. 'rapidly diminishing' vision
and now,
7.Alzheimer's
This one had a different flavor than the others. Overly self-deprecating. No bulky graphs of visual description, and again -- no quote lede.
Perhaps she is writing with summer's newfound looseness. It looks great on her.
2. deafness in left ear
3. 'morbid' obesity
4. tearing pain in knees
5. asthma
6. 'rapidly diminishing' vision
and now,
7.Alzheimer's
This one had a different flavor than the others. Overly self-deprecating. No bulky graphs of visual description, and again -- no quote lede.
Perhaps she is writing with summer's newfound looseness. It looks great on her.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
A Homage To the One and Only...
I put together all my favorite lines for a column that's almost as cool as the originals:
"I'm lying on my stomach," I suddenly thought. "How peculiar."
Periodically I glanced over to watch my father, his muscles flexing, as he dressed the bit over a forge with sledgehammers before dropping it into the hole to drill. Massive paws told the story of his work ethic.
Maybe I had read too many thrillers, because this place reminded me of a vampire's lair.
I have the same complaint every time I put on a bra or hose, but I do it daily. Seriously, I would be just as happy with a cigar band. It's not that hard when everything is put in the closet accordingly.
But it would be even better if I could find a human muzzle.
One of our staff members recently said that it is hard curl up with a good lap top, and she is right. We might quarrel all day, but in the back of the pickup we were all smiles.
Nothing gives me more joy than that rowdy group of youngsters.
“Well, hell, boy," he said. "Don't you know how to shift?"
It was an impromptu response from a redneck-born, antisocial, non-diplomatic shrew. Since I cannot be tamed, it has become my signature line. A person like that has no idea what it is like to be caged inside your own body, living your own suddenly silent hell.
In fact, nothing in or about my room is sacred from the little "nibby nose." No one could ever convince Heather that she wouldn't look good in a feed sack. Puddin' needs to learn to share, but I think she is coming along nicely.
Most people think black is black. Color my world beautiful, because it is anything but dull.
"I'm lying on my stomach," I suddenly thought. "How peculiar."
Periodically I glanced over to watch my father, his muscles flexing, as he dressed the bit over a forge with sledgehammers before dropping it into the hole to drill. Massive paws told the story of his work ethic.
Maybe I had read too many thrillers, because this place reminded me of a vampire's lair.
I have the same complaint every time I put on a bra or hose, but I do it daily. Seriously, I would be just as happy with a cigar band. It's not that hard when everything is put in the closet accordingly.
But it would be even better if I could find a human muzzle.
One of our staff members recently said that it is hard curl up with a good lap top, and she is right. We might quarrel all day, but in the back of the pickup we were all smiles.
Nothing gives me more joy than that rowdy group of youngsters.
“Well, hell, boy," he said. "Don't you know how to shift?"
It was an impromptu response from a redneck-born, antisocial, non-diplomatic shrew. Since I cannot be tamed, it has become my signature line. A person like that has no idea what it is like to be caged inside your own body, living your own suddenly silent hell.
In fact, nothing in or about my room is sacred from the little "nibby nose." No one could ever convince Heather that she wouldn't look good in a feed sack. Puddin' needs to learn to share, but I think she is coming along nicely.
Most people think black is black. Color my world beautiful, because it is anything but dull.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Shudder
It seems we all fight the battle of the bulge....
Some of us just do it a bit more gracefully than others:
"I push, pull, jump and collapse backward on the bed just to budge the zipper a little. God forbid I have to make a pit stop in the lady's room and take the zipper down after I have finally forced it up."
Some of us just do it a bit more gracefully than others:
"I push, pull, jump and collapse backward on the bed just to budge the zipper a little. God forbid I have to make a pit stop in the lady's room and take the zipper down after I have finally forced it up."
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